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I assure you that once a week therapy and reading books will not do the trick for someone addicted — something much more drastic must take place. To me, when it comes to verbal and emotional abuse and control, the second time one of these behaviors took place in my relationship, it would mean the end of the marriage. That list could go on and on. We will provide groups for people in your situation where you can lean on one another for encouragement and support.
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Over the years I have watched hundreds of devastated men and women in the throes of this type of gut-wrenching pain, and it is never easy to sit with these people knowing what they must be feeling — a kick in the chest so intense that it takes their breath away, every part of their body in pain, their stomach turned upside down. Only a stance of humility will do in these cases, and if you must be on your knees euphemistically over prolonged periods of time, then so be it. Once in relationship, they feel tremendous insecurity, while externally exhibiting a mask of toughness or indifference. Because it would be torturous to be thinking about what those two are doing on a daily basis, and winning trust back would probably not be possible.